we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
