i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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