It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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