I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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