dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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