Kiss
Puke
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
