I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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