john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
