I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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