i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize