hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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