Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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