Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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