Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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