idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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