I hate all girls vehemently.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
