What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we're making bets on your personal life
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
