yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I looked at my own cervix.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
