feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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