Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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