Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
