Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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