ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
