who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
