Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
