Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
