Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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