I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
