The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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