Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
