If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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