nutella sex= disaster
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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