Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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