I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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