These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
