i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
