reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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