Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
