I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
