In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
