This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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