there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
