glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
