you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
