im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
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does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
MIDGETS
????
Randomize