she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
