Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
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