i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
