I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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