yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
