i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
wow bdsm is so cute
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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