just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread