Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
