I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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