Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
