i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
