What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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