my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.