Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?

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(630): View more from Illinois

hot girl, 5 o clock

(1-630): View more from Illinois

do you know how to read a clock?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?

(1-513): View more from Ohio

Every day of my life.

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(914): View more from New York

explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.

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(415): View more from California

Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...

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(518): View more from New York

The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties

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