Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?