Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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