Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(302): View more from Delaware

stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.

Fav 14 1950 3482
share tweet
(418): View more from Quebec

You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"

Fav 11 7320 1493
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.

Fav 5 1796 747
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.

Fav 7 3265 1078
share tweet
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with

Fav 6 2013 910
share tweet
(701): View more from North Dakota

I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.

Fav 13 1588 1801
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.

Fav 13 4095 1147
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(208): View more from Idaho

Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.

Fav 3 960 585
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(416): View more from Toronto

how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.

Fav 0 51 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT