it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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